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Friday, March 30, 2001
I received a couple of crab stories from my loyal fans. The big difference about my story and the one's people sent me, was that they had sex in order to get them. At least they had that going for them.
One friend sent this story:
I got crabs from a chick in High School who claimed she "must have gotten them from a Sweater she bought from the DAV"
I bought it, because I was young and getting laid. But then I thought: "Why is she rubbing her new sweater on her pussy?"
Turns out it was a guy named Darren that she was rubbing on her pussy :)
sign me,
"Megan's Crab Shack"
He at least had gotten laid.
I went to a bachelor/bachelorette party tonight. I met this girl that said I had a golden aura. I am fairly cynical. I don't really believe in any of that aura stuff. But I'm afraid that I must admit that I like hearing about it. I guess there is a part of me that would like to believe but I am too grounded in reality.
That's why sometimes I have trouble with religion. I would like to be able to believe in it all. I would love to be able to KNOW that there is a God up there and even if I don't understand why he does the things he does, be able to KNOW that he is looking out for me until its my time to die and go to heaven and bask in his glory.
I just can't. I saw this comedian talking about God. He said that when he found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny were not real, God didn't stand much of a chance. At least Santa and the Easter Bunny showed up once a year to give him something.
I don't consider myself an atheist. I would like to believe but deep in my heart I don't.
Its like when a friend tells me about seeing a ghostly apparition. I believe that they believe they saw something. I just can't believe, because I never saw anything that I couldn't easily explain.
I wonder what word means, "Someone who wants to believe in God but doesn't or can't."
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
posted by Mr Quick 3:47 AM
MrQuick 3:40 AM
Man, I'm feeling old.
I somehow sprained my ankle and I'm walking around with a damn cane. Today has not been a good day for me. I took a funny step as I was going to my car for work and it felt fine. But as the day went it just got worse and worse.
Anyway enough whinning about me.
Have you ever had crabs?
Well don't get 'em!!!
I had crabs once. One day I noticed an unusual itch in the hair above Mr. Happy. I noticed this little brown spot that looked like a freckle or maybe a blackhead. I picked at it for a second and it came off. Thats when I noticed it had legs and was moving. I was pissed because I knew I hadn't gotten them the fun way. So I started to think what I did different. What had I done over the last few days that was out of the ordinary.
I had stayed at my Mom's house in the guest bedroom. Getting it from my Mom's guestroom seemed unlikely but then I thought.
My fuckin' brother.
I have a brother that has always been a little of a ladies man. So I called home and before I told Mom what was going on, I asked her if my brother had been home recently. She said that he had slept in the guestroom 2 weeks before I did. So this is the point where I get to tell my Mom that I have crabs and she better change the sheets just in case. She tried to assure me that she didn't think crabs could live in a bed for 2 weeks and that I probably got them from a toilet seat or something.
Hmmm... okaay.
So then I call my brother and pretty much point blank asked him if he ever had crabs. He admited to having crabs around the time he stayed at home. But he also tried to say that he didn't think the crabs could live that long in an empty bed. Even though when I mentioned it years later he denied it.
So I got crabs from my brother.
It took me two tries with R.I.D. to get rid of them. So if you have never had crabs make sure that you don't get them.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 3:32 AM
I will soon be selling a device that every person who want to have athletic legs and a washboard stomach.
Its called the ChairMaster.
The beauty of the product is that it is so simple. You put the ChairMaster in the middle of your room and then you sit down. You then get up and repeat for about 20 minutes.
Your sure to feel the burn in your calves, thighs, buttocks and stomach.
Now you may ask how much would the ChairMaster costs.
$1000.00...NO.
$900.00...NO.
$400.00...NO.
For a mere 3 low monthly payments of $39.95 the ChairMaster can be yours.
Operators are waiting.
Damn it my high speed connection is down. I've had to update this site on a 56K modem.
Can you say sloooooooooow?
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 4:34 AM
Do you believe everything you read?
Everyday people pick up their newspapers and get online and read the latest news. If your getting information from a reliable source then the core of truth should be in most if not all of the stories. There have been a couple times though when I was at the location when a news worthy event happened and even though the story had the headline correct there were a lot of details that just were not correct.
When it comes to news online you should really take everything with a grain of salt. If someone sends you a link to an article. It may look like the real deal but it may not be. Here is a good one you can use on your friends. gary.quick.isgay.com or matt.loomis.isgay.com or even aaron.richards.isgay.com. Any name you put in that format will work. It uses some sort of script to right the page from the name in the URL.
I sent it to a friend of mine the other night and he about freaked for a second. He of course knew the article wasn't about him but it was surprising and just a little embarassing that someone with his name might be in a story like that.
If you haven't checked out my link of the day yet you might want to. That is the reason I am on this subject. I also figured that some people may be too lazy to read my entire post and I didn't want to definitely give away the gag in the first sentence. I don't know how they did it but they did a good job. Besides the story being so ridiculus that it can't be true, the URL for that page doesn't follow the same pattern every other article on cnn.com follows.
But what if the story wasn't quite so ridiculus. A lot of people could have believed it. Hell, I'm sure some people will believe that Bill Gates could patent ones and zeros. Its not going to happen childrens.
I do hope it made a couple of people's blood pressures raise just a little.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 3:51 AM
I've been screwing up with my pic of the day archive. The last 9 days I've been archiving the pictures to a page that had no link to it. Its fixed now though.
I've also posted a new video. Its a clip of Ted playing DO YOU THINK I'M SEXY on the bagpipes. He played at the Mag on St Patrick's Day.
I was trying to come up with something to talk about today and for some reason I thought about the only Duke's of Hazzard moment of my life. Many years ago I owned teal green Camero. I'll be the first to admit I don't know a whole lot about cars. I don't remember exactly what kind of engine was in it but it was an eight cylinder and it had a manual transmission. I don't know why but a manual transmission on a Camero is apparently a little unique.
My brother, Dan, had a Mustang. I believe both cars were made in the same year. Anyway, we decided to find a straight stretch of road and have a race. On the way to the stretch of highway, we ran into our mother and she asked us what we were up to. Man, Tell City is a small town. We made up some bullshit and went on our way.
The road we were going to race on was 3 lanes. One lane, oncoming and two lanes for us to race side by side. The road doesn't usually have a lot of traffic, so we'd figure it would be fairly safe. We lined up our cars and counted down and took off. I got the jump on him but in the end he passed me. We got up to about 100mph as we reached our finish line. I got in the lane behind him because my lane was coming to an end and as we came over the hill a sheriff was coming the other way.
My asshole tightened up immensely. I looked in the rearview mirror and I saw his lights come on and he went over the hill.
I knew that my brother had spent a lot of time on the backroads because him and his friends used to get a case of beer and go "boonie ridin'" as we liked to call it. They would just drive around the backroads and drink beer. There is not a lot to do in Tell City.
My brother didn't slow down at all and I was right behind him. After about a half mile he turned off the highway onto a gravel road which we drove on for about 30 minutes taking different forks and turns and finally we came to a deadend and just pulled over and shot the shit for about another 30 minutes. We both came back into town from different directions because we didn't want the sheriff's department spotting us together.
To tell you the truth I don't really know if the cop even turned around. We were going so fast he may have just said, "Fuck it. I hope they don't kill themselves."
I just remember driving the backroads feeling like I was in a scene out of the Duke's of Hazzard.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 5:17 AM
I got this really good deal through work for some cheap server space. Now as most people who have ever done a webpage know, there are a lot of places to get free space. So why pay?
Well first, the speeds you get from free sites usually suck ass. Second, they always have the long complicated names. Before I registered www.mrquick.net I used something like this, http://worldnet.att.net/home/~gwquick/index.html.
Anyway, for a very small monthly fee I get 100MB of space and 15gigs of transfer. Sorry about the geek talk. I also get another domain name free. I'm not going to move everything over because I like the service I get from ValueWeb and it is almost never down. I have heard this other place isn't as reliable. Basically I'm going to use the other space for storage of my video files, which means I might not be so afraid of having several available for download.
I also want to post some stories that are going to be more fiction than fact. I also want to get some friends involved with this possibly. I can give other people access to post what they want. MrQuick.net is my personal soapbox. I would like to make my other site more of a group effort. I guess I'll see what I can whip up.
The new site is BaldMafia.com. At the moment there really isn't anything there but a nice short flash movie my friend Eric made for me. I will be posting my first story in a couple of days.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 6:24 AM
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