Saturday, December 09, 2000
I had started writing this big commentary on the Presidential Election but when I was nearly finished the browser crashed and I lost everything.
God damn it, I hate that.
Basically the jist was that I think this is fantastic. No one in the United States has ever seen anything like this and probably never will. Its like watching a fight with the prize being the United States. They should give the winner a big belt.
I really find it amazing that the Bush team is fighting to keep votes from being counted. This isn't over the votes that were already counted. This is over the votes that the machines didn't count because the chads were not completely punched out.
I'm waiting for Bush to be in some sort of press conference and he have a fit. Jumping up and down saying, "Daddy said I can be President." I could almost see him trying to call up the Texas National Guard and try to take Washington by force.
Its not likely to happen but I would almost like to see him threaten it.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 4:21 AM
Friday, December 08, 2000
Everytime I sit down at this computer and have trouble getting started on my post, I think to myself, "What am I going to write about today?" Almost everytime the first thing that pops into my mind is, "There once was a man from Nantucket..."
I really don't know why. I've never liked limericks. That was the only part of the Benny Hill Show that I didn't enjoy. Its not like I'm going to start writing limericks.
Maybe its because for a good part of my life I never knew the rest of the limerick. I would hear someone say the opening line, usually on TV, and then someone would cut them off and I never heard the rest. Not until Jr. High anyway.
So in order to fill space and hopefully purge that haunting line from my brain, I will post the version of the limerick I know. I am sure it has been told in many different ways.
There once was a man from Nantucket.
Who's dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it."
Don't ask me what's wrong with my head, I don't know either.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 3:49 AM
Thursday, December 07, 2000
I have decided to tell you something about myself that I have tried to put behind me and keep a secret.
It is about a time in my life that is painful for me to talk about.
I am a recovering anorexic.
I am pleased to say that I am doing well but I just take each day, one at a time.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 4:53 AM
Wednesday, December 06, 2000
It was a slow night at the Mag.
Slow nights can be a little dangerous. Because we get bored... and when we get bored we try to entertain ourselves. Sometimes the entertainment will be some sort of game. We used to play this game we called the "Movie Game" which is just a variation of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Last night was a different kind of entertainment. Danny did his best to make a shot that would make Matt hurl or at least make a face. Danny fixed Matt probably about 5 or 6 shots. Each one different and horrible in its own way. I didn't pay attention to every drink but one of them had coffee, wine, beer, whiskey, scotch, hot sauce, worcestershire sauce, olive juice, lemon juice, an olive and I don't know what else. Danny did handicap himself by not making any drinks with milk products (creme, half and half, Bailey's, etc.)
Matt did each shot like a champ and I don't think he even made a face. I don't know how he'll feel in the morning but he was having no problems last night.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 4:08 AM
Tuesday, December 05, 2000
I went over to Karen's apartment and we watched Four Rooms. I very good movie. After the movie was over we sat around and talked for a while and I decided to skip the Mag and I went home. I couldn't find a place to park out front so I went to park in the back and as I pulled up I saw the above rabbit.
I was able to ease up to about 2 yards away before he even started to act like he was going to run.
The first thing I thought of was hasenpfeffer. "Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits."
I thought about going to get my shotgun. But shooting a shotgun off in Old Louisvile seemed like a bad idea since I would have to try and get the bloody rabbit inside if I didn't want to get caught poaching in my neighbors backyard.
I also considered trying to get as close as I could and just grab him. It seemed a little domesticated. It seemed healthy. But I didn't want to take the chance of getting bitten by some animal and the chance of getting some rabies shots.
In the end I just let him be. But it has been a long while since I had rabbit.
Maybe, I'll have Elmer Fudd dreams.
Good NIght, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 3:39 AM
Monday, December 04, 2000
I forgot to mention that I finally posted this month's Babe of the Month. Enjoy.
MrQuick 6:56 AM
Bill told me something that happened to him over the holiday and he has given me permission to share it with all of you.
Bill went to his mother and father's for Thanksgiving. Bill's whole family was there and Bill's Mom said to his Dad, "Well, they're all here. We might as well tell them."
They sit everyone down and Bill's Mom is sort of crying and she would almost laugh a little. Bill is thinking that something is really wrong but when she laughed he started to think that it must not be too bad. Bill's Mom looks directly at Bill and says, "I'm pregnant."
Bill can't believe what he's hearing. His Mom is 48 years old. He was surprised and he was worried about her safety and a lot of other thoughts started racing through his head. Then she says that they don't want to keep the baby. Bill is stunned. Then she continues and says that she and his father feel that Bill and Tina are the most stable in the family and she asks Bill if he and Tina could take the baby.
Bill about loses his mind. He says, "No!!, I can't even take care of myself."
Bill is sweating bullets he can't believe what is happening. His Mom is crying and he doesn't know what to do. She then asks again, "You won't take our baby?"
Bill replies the same, "No!!, I can't even take care of myself."
For 5 minutes he sits there sweating not knowing what to say and his Mom is half crying and half laughing.
Finally, Bill's Mom leans over and says, "I'm just kidding."
Everyone starts laughing because Bill was the only one in his family not in on the joke.
Don't you just love getting together with the family over the holidays.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 6:14 AM
Sunday, December 03, 2000
Last night was kind of surreal.
Bill, Matt, Cyrus and myself were sitting at a table and this girl I know comes up to the table and starts telling us about this guy that had these really big balls and an even bigger nutsack. Apparently he could pull his scrotum so far up that it would cover his penis and pubic area and he could hide objects underneath it. They some how turned this into a game where he would put objects under his bag and they would have to guess what was there. This girl told us that he put a 12 once drink can under his scrotum and no one could tell what it was. They had turned this into a form of strip poker.
At this point Matt says that he has the ability to make his testicles raise independently, kind of like when a bodybuilder flexes his pecs. We are all very skeptical but the girl is the most skeptical. Matt calls over Dana to confirm this and she says, "Its the strangest thing you ever saw!!!" She confirmed this strange super power.
Well the girl was still skeptical so Matt, Dana and this girl head for the bathroom in order to show her. They soon head out to the alley because the bathroom has a line as usual. After a few minutes they come back and the ability has not been confirmed yet. It was very cold last night and as soon as his nuts were exposed to the cold they of course climbed up in search of warmth. So if Matt does decide to make this his super power he needs to avoid the Iceman, Mr. Freeze or any other cold super characters.
By the way, I've changed the way I do my MrQuick Radio and it should have a much better sound and be up 24/7. Check it out.
Good Night, Good Morning, whatever.
MrQuick 5:43 AM
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